Got Balls?
by thegirlformerlyknownasB
Summary: "GOTBALLS? A dating website for basketball players puts the ball in your court! Match up and play one-on-one with other singles to slam dunk for a night or find a life-long teammate. Will you score, or will the fourth quarter end before you've found love?" The Generation of Miracles and friends sign up for a dating website, and shenanigans ensue.


"I've gathered you all here today, because I need you all to do me a huge favor!" Momoi clasps her hands together in front of her, and swings them back and forth a bit. She flutters her eyelashes and bites her bottom lip. The males in front of her are decidedly unimpressed, and ignore her obvious attempt to use her feminine wiles to her favor.

"What is the favor?" Kuroko questions genuinely, not even comprehending Momoi's antics. Kise jumps slightly at his sudden appearance, but most of his former teammates ignore his presence.

"Thank you for asking, Tetsu-kun." She grins, pleased by his respectful attention. She wishes the other boys would treat her so politely and kindly. "I need you all to sign up for a dating site!" She claps her hands and squeals a bit in excitement. The males surrounding her stare at her blankly. Momoi's excitement falls slightly; she thinks about what she said and cannot find anything which would warrant this reaction.

"Ehhh?" Kise replies, voicing the hesitation and horrific feelings of many of his former teammates. He takes his hands out of his pockets and crosses them in front of his chest.

"Well, you are all always so focused on basketball and so focused on destroying each other that none of you have even tried searching for love." Momoi explains, rubbing her foot into the ground shyly. She looks at the ground quietly before determinedly raising her gaze once again. "I hate to see you all so lonely. This is for your own good."

"This is absurd." Midorima states, clutching an owl ceramic in his arms. His wrapped fingers stroke the owl's head slowly. "I am not going to sign up for a lowly dating website." He protests grumpily.

"Afraid you're going to find love, Midorin?" Momoi teases, leaning toward the green-haired boy. She giggles at his obvious distaste for her idea. He glares at her, not feeling the need to dignify her jest with a spoken response.

"Nah. I'm not doing it, either." Aomine says, staring angrily at his childhood friend. He has to deal with Momoi and her crazy ideas enough—he does not need her to mess around in his private life more than she already does.

Murasakibara nods his head, though he does not know exactly what is going on. He has been eating bags after bags of chips throughout their meeting, and the crunch of each bite is loud enough to distract him from such frivolous happenings.

"No, guys! Hear me out for a second, okay?" She becomes more casual with her increasing desperation. She stomps her foot and crosses her arms. "I just want you all to be happy, and I think having some romance in your lives will help you do that."

"Momo—" Kise begins to protest the idea once again when he is cut off by his former captain.

"We will all sign up for the website of your choosing, Momoi-san. You will sign up for it, too. We will go on dates with everyone the site matches us with." Akashi states. Midorima gives him a concerned look, but does not say anything to refute his former teammate.

"But—" Aomine protests. He really does not want to do this.

"My orders are absolute. It will do you well to remember that." Akashi interrupts the other boy's whine coldly. Despite Akashi no longer actually having any control over his former teammates, they still listen to him out of respect.

Aomine nods in acknowledgment of Akashi's words, though he does not hide the scowl on his face. Kise also looks displeased, though he refuses to be shut down by Akashi a second time; he will not say a thing.

"Great!" Momoi squeaks happily. "I'm so excited!" She hops up and down where she stands before stopping suddenly and staring straight at Kuroko. "This will give me a chance to prove to you that we're meant to be, Tetsu-kun!" Kuroko stares blankly at her. He does not understand why she is so adamant about their relationship.

"Meeting dismissed." Akashi orders, though he was not the one to initiate the meeting in the first place. They all disperse: some groaning to themselves, others incredibly excited about what the experience will bring, and others without any care for the situation whatsoever.

* * *

"Hey, Kuroko, watcha up to?" Kagami questions. It is odd to see Kuroko doing anything besides staring off into the distance, so typing intently on a computer is rather out of the ordinary. He does not respond to Kagami's inquiry, nor does he even acknowledge that the other boy spoke.

Kagami huffs and leans over to look at Kuroko's computer screen. GOTBALLS? Is plastered across the top of the webpage, and Kagami immediately reels backward, the wheels on his chair propel him away from the offending words. He stutters for a moment.

"Are you on a gay dating site?!" He asks Kuroko, horrified by the possibility. Kuroko shrugs calmly before turning to face his teammate.

"It's a dating website for people who play or enjoy basketball. It just has an unfortunate name." Kuroko explains.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Kuroko turns back to his computer and continues filling out his profile.

"Why are you signing up for this stupid website?" Kagami elaborates, frustrated that he had to explain more.

"It's a long story." Kuroko replies simply.

"Tell me!" Kagami tries to sound threatening, but his words sound more like a whine than anything remotely worrying. Kuroko's lips turn up slightly on the edges; it is not as much of a smile as it is a smirk, which is wildly out of character for the boy. Kagami feels the slightest amount of dread creep into the pit of his stomach.

"I'll tell you if you sign up as well." Kuroko states without looking at his teammate. He fills in his height and weight before continuing on to answer some questions meant to help match him with other people. Kagami sighs in reluctance before becoming agitated once again.

"Fine. I will sign up for the site!" He huffs and hops on the computer in front of him. The library's computer lab is very convenient in that way. He had just been planning on talking to Kuroko about practice the next day, but he has suddenly found himself in a situation he could not have predicted.

Kuroko nods and continues answering the questions in front of him.

**Are you looking for love or sex?** Kuroko sits for a moment, contemplating his answer carefully. _Open to either _is the choice he selects. He is a teenage boy, after all.

**Which do you value more: raw talent or developed skill? **He would prefer an option which would allow him to choose both depending on the situation, but there are only two answers. _Developed skill_, he chooses, keeping his own experiences in mind.

**Which of the following traits do you find attractive in a partner? (Select all that apply) **Kuroko selects _Dedication_, _Perseverance, Sense of self, Humility, Intelligence, _and just for a bit of variety, _Adventurousness_.

The questions continue until Kuroko has answered somewhere around 100 total. He is slightly overwhelmed by the large amount of information necessary to make a match, though he supposes the quantity makes sense.

**FIND MATCHES**

He clicks the button and holds his breath.

**NO MATCHES FOUND **

**Looks like you missed your shot! We'll let you know if any matches become available. In the meantime, work on your aim!**

Kuroko sighs, both in relief and in disappointment. Not a single match. He sits and stares at the screen for a moment before a little window pops up in the bottom right corner.

**NEW MATCH**

**Slam dunk! There's nothing but net with this one.**

Kuroko clicks on the window, and he is brought to another person's profile.

"Kagami!?"

* * *

"Please let me join the website! Pleeeeaaaaase, Shin-chan!" Takao begs his teammate dramatically. Midorima glares at him.

"No. You were not even supposed to know that this was happening." He replies coldly. Takao frowns before he leans on the taller boy.

"But I do know, and it sounds like fun!" He replies, looking up into Midorima's eyes. He bats his eyelashes playfully. Midorima sighs.

"You can sign up if you want." He relents, not willing to put up with his teammate's whining and begging any longer.

"Yay!"

"But you have to cart me to school for the next week." He adds seriously. Takao slumps his shoulders.

"But Shin-chan lives so far away!" He complains amusingly. He is somewhat distraught with the idea of having to lug his teammate around, and somewhat overjoyed by the idea, for that gives him more time to tease Midorima.

"We're neighbors, Takao." Midorima deadpans. He shakes his head at his teammate's antics and continues walking toward their houses. They stay relatively quiet the rest of the way, and only wave at each other when they part ways.

That night, as Midorima lies in his bed trying to fall asleep, he receives a text message from his neighbor.

_So you know that dating site? Well, we matched._ _:3 _

He reads the text multiple times before groaning. He flips over, shoves his head into his pillow, and tries not to think about what he just read.

* * *

**A/N: **Welcome to the prologue of my first anime/not live action based fanfiction. If I refer to any of the characters incorrectly or have any mistakes/inaccuracies, please let me know!

This story will contain multiple ships-not just the ones hinted here. If you want to see a specific ship matched by the website, let me know!


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